I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
