Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
