i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
