You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
