I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
