How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize