As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
