the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize