Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
