dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
