have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
