Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
