Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
