He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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