i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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