i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
