once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
