Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
should my penis look like a turkey
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
