no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
