marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
