Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
