OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
