Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
