quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
