I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
