i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I am mentally ready for anal.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
