If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
