she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
