I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize