dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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