I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
