Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
True strength comes from lack of pants
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
