This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
