i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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