I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
