We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is Oprah even human
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
