you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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