he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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