This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
