I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
