and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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