Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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