fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
