I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
