Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize