I've blown a few things in my day
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
