Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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