My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
a search helicopter?!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
