I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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