is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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