Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
