So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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