Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Randomize
