Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
