this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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