remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
