can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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