This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize